Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know, ” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:9
Woman was made for Man. She was made of Adam. He is the innate leader. When men and women step out of that dynamic relationship, everything else falls and fails. Adam was created in the image of God, we need to honor that.
Crime is a gender issue. The majority of crime, and specifically violent crime, is perpetrated by men. Men are the majority of the incarcerated population all over the world. In the majority of domestic violence and rape cases, men are by far the aggressors.
Fatherlessness is a pestilence that we will never recover from. You could argue that fatherlessness cause the hurts of society. Those without fathers are more likely to commit suicide, commit crimes, drop out of high school, be incarcerated, be homeless and suffer drug and alcohol addictions. One thing begets another and another. There seems no beginning and end to what happens when fail our boys.
Recently, I stumbled upon an article, “1,000 women of color want women and girls included in ‘My Brother’s Keeper’” via The Washington Post website. This drew me in and prompted me to learn about MBK. This initiative was signed in from President Obama last year. The initiative strives to better the lives of young men and boys of color (Black and Hispanic) here in America. It focuses on children entering school, completing high school, attending secondary education and entering the workforce. This plan aims to decrease the “cradle-jail” program that is currently in place. Our President challenged our nation to step up and create community tasks forces and take action. I am in full support of MBK as is. Male centered, for men by men.
Trying to include women and girls in MBK defeats the purpose. I see this as another way we are feminizing our boys. Feminizing America and feminizing our society. Our boys deserve to be honored as boys. Something separate and different than us. Boys have gotten lost in our society. Boys are not made to feel good as boys. They learn that to be masculine is to be aggressive and crude. That to be masculine is to go after money no matter the cost or means. To be masculine is to have sex with women with no commitments or responsibilities to them. That to be masculine is to impress other boys or men with bravado and fear.
I take these ideologies personal because I have worked with fatherless boys involved in the juvenile justice system. I see this firsthand, I see the aftermath. These boys have no way to relate to others unless it’s through retelling stories of fights or other violent times, times they got high or drunk. Reliving a crime they committed. For some it’s even worse. They have no way to communicate unless it’s through spoken rap lyrics. They have no conversation skills, especially towards an adult woman. Their idea of having a conversation with an adult woman is to attempt to be flirtatious. Or if you are an adult woman that takes a few moments to attempt a conversation, they take it as she wants some. To get even more personal, the men that I have “fallen for” possess the fatherless trait. Either fatherless or the bond essentially just not there due to other issues. My first boyfriend ever, his father died when he was two years old. The second boyfriend he didn’t know who his father was until he was a teenager already committed to gang life. Another man, I have no information on him ever having his father in his life. The fourth, after his parents’ divorce around age 10 and prior family dysfunction, there was no effort on his father’s part to stay engaged. In fact, it made for a very awkward lunch we had with his father, father’s wife and child. ONCE. So, still working out? As my boyfriend’s muscles bulged out of his t-shirt. Yea. Still at the same job? Yup. Cricket*Cricket. These fellas all succumbed to drugs and alcohol as part of their everyday life or coping. One unable to keep a job, high school dropout, dead. One juvenile delinquent with felonies; father to about 5 kids by different women. One unable to commit to a woman, multiple DUIs, some jail time. The other overly attached to his mother, at the cost of our relationship. This isn’t to discredit them, be negative, or put all their business out there. I am simply stating what can be found in texts books, what can be found etched into the heart of every man.
Our boys are in trouble.
Men must begin to invest back in their community, in their homes. It starts with investing back in their boys. Raising and training up boys to be men, to lead in a righteous way. Lead in a way that leads to more marriages, Fatherhood, employment-not to fatherlessness, crime, incarceration, and death.
We need to let men solve men-problems. Women, stop thinking you can solve a man’s problems (especially when you think of him as such, a problem). Allow men to bestow their masculinity on the next generation. Men won’t lead unless you step out of the way. You want to tame and domestic the man because you have no trust. Because you have no faith.
“In short, women and girls of color are not doing fine, and until they are, men and boys will not be doing fine either.”
This is wrong and backwards. When men are taught to be men, they will lead us in the right direction. I again tell you, Woman was made for Man. Adam was the one that was granted dominion “over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26 God didn’t say well let me get Eve what she wants and then, we will get you started Adam.
Now, I relate the state of Womanhood with this horrific state of Manhood. Women are ratchet because men are lowering their standards. So women follow their lead, they expect less, accept less and continue to do less themselves. This mirrors what men are doing. They do less because we expect less. They do less because we accept less.
If you truly want things to change. We need to expect and accept MORE. I will expect men to train up men and expect nothing less. You wont even step aside to allow the President of the United States of America to bestow masculinity on his American boys?
I want a generation of young men of color, boys that look like my nephew to be trained up well. To live past the age of 18. To bring joy and comfort to his family. To bring protection to his wife and children. Please step aside and let these men be men.