I’ll be honest it was challenging to commit to making a post every day. I tried not to judge each post harshly like “that’s boring” or “will people think its lame?” I am just Me. The point wasn’t to impress anyone but to show that being single isn’t what think it is and it is what you think it is. It’s just you, being you each day. Going to work, spending time with friends and family, enjoying many Snickerdoodle lattes – okay that’s just me!
What do you think will change once you are in a relationship? You and you’re boo thang will spend countless hours staring in each other eyes while suns set continuously, and your bills pay themselves? Often times we catch ourselves idolizing relationships or our crushes. Yes, I’m in 7th grade because I have crushes. But who are they besides regular everyday people, just like us? Often times having our eyes set on someone distracts us from our everyday pains of life. Like, my smoke detector that beeps for no reason every so often. Yes I just put in a new battery last month. And no, there’s no fire anywhere! I have been home for hours now, and you start beeping at 11pm, at 4 minute intervals? Are you serious right now? If I had a boyfriend, he would fix it. So I find myself standing on my tallest chair, on my tippy toes, reaching, stretching, using push pins to pin a winter scarf to the ceiling in hopes to muffle the excruciating sound. I just don’t want to deal with this! If I had a husband he would deal with this so I don’t have to.
I really hope I’m not the only who has thoughts like that. I also think a shared income would be awesome. Using all your own money for things just really sucks. Yes, I said that. You can quote me on it too.
Moving on, through the years I realized just how easy it is to get wrapped up in someone else. It’s fun getting messages, texts, phone calls from someone. Someone that looks at you and thinks you’re awesome. Maybe they don’t see what a mess your bedroom is, or the dysfunction in your family, or how you’re late to work every day. They see all the fun things about you and you like that. Often times, we try to minimize those Other things. Actually, your parent pays your phone bill, or you can’t drive because your license was taken away, or that time you really did try to kill yourself. We all have those Other things we don’t want people to know. Idolizing the perfect relationship keeps you from making peace with who you are.
You have to be at peace with who you are. Otherwise, you enter into a relationship in a fearful state. You’re attaching yourself to someone because you are afraid. Afraid to be alone. After all, when will another person come around? We often feel that being single is a reflection of our worth or lack of. If I am single it means no one wanted me. As a woman, no one has asked me to marry them, so I guess no one has ever wanted to marry me. *insert Bridget Jones singing “All By Myself”*
I work daily to stop negative thoughts, lying thoughts. Someone will like you “just as you are.” You’re going to have to get real comfortable with yourself before you get cozy with someone else. After spending enough time with someone, they will see all those Other things anyway. Instead of feeling comfortable, you’ll feel insecure. I don’t think I need to tell you what happens when Insecurities take over. Instead of building a foundation of trust, you’ll build a mud pie.
I truly want someone I can be myself with. If you feel like there are parts of your life you have to hide or parts that aren’t interesting enough, fun enough- then you’re likely going about relationships in the wrong way.