Today it’s a regular Monday in April. Cloudy and rainy here in Midwestern USA. I don’t watch weather forecasts but prefer to take the day as is. I prefer to not stress myself over things I do not control. Adding information such as, “partly sunny” and “30% chance of rain” does not serve my over-thinking brain well.
I actively practice controlling my thoughts. Not every thought I think should be surfed on. Some lead to old ways of thinking, some lead to negative self-talk, some lead to worry. Some of my thoughts come from God. Like, when I get married I’d like to move to a smaller community outside of my main city. If and when I have children, I’d like to home-school them for a while. I’ve had these thoughts come to me that I would never think on my own. In fact, they sound a lot like things I would scoff at. I measure them based on a few key ideas.
*Is it what God would say?
*Can it be rooted in Scripture?
*Does it make sense?
*Is it healthy for me? Does it create peace and joy?
If I’m thinking something that does not fit in with what God says, is not found in God’s Word, it doesn’t make sense, and is not healthy…..then I sever the thoughts from my heart and mind.
One thought (question) that keeps reoccurring is, What’s So Wrong With Being Single?
I have been Single since May 2012. I’m very much used to being single, relationships are what is foreign to me. My last relationship was almost 3 years ago. Though there was a ‘situationship’ (please see The Purge, and Is It Official?) that became active again after that relationship ended, it’s been almost 2 years since I have seen that person. Though text messages still sporadically surfaced, nothing significant ever materialized. And that, has described my romantic life (HA!) for the past 3 years.
On Thursday, I found myself having to kill an hour of time before meeting with a friend. I had chosen to pop into a Mexican-themed restaurant to grab a bite to eat near our meeting location. After parking and deciding that crossing the busier street was just going to be too much effort, I looked around and spotted a seafood restaurant. All my life I have claimed to hate seafood. However, I have learned to enjoy shrimp, sushi, calamari, and the random main dish of some type of fish another good friend has cooked for me. I used my phone to look at the restaurant’s menu just to confirm the pull I was feeling. They had a happy hour menu which means cheaper items and smaller portions. I spotted the words Fish Taco. Hmm, I always hear about fish tacos. In movies like I Love You, Man.
“beer battered or blackened white fish, slaw, pineapple pico de gallo, avocado and charred jalapeño crema 3.5”
Pineapple, avocado, jalapeno. Decision made. I walked in and was sat at a booth. I ordered the fish taco and it was delicious.
I tell you all this in detail because I don’t do spontaneous too much. I had originally picked the Mexican place because I have been there multiple times, and I know what to expect. I was proud of myself to have done something I hadn’t even thought about. There is more to what I felt in those moments of a solitary disposition. I felt content. I felt relaxed. I felt pleased with myself. I was enjoying the time I was spending with me.
On Friday, I met my family at the zoo. They were already inside and so I paid for my own ticket in. We visited a few attractions together but they were on a time crunch so they had to leave after a while. I decided to stay a bit longer. I have had thoughts about going to the zoo by myself, but would never follow through. I found it amusing that the pull had its way anyway. I visited the Kingdom of the Night, Aquarium and Butterfly Exhibit. I walked at my own pace, I stopped and watched animals for however long I wanted. There was no pressure to hurry along or to stay with the group. It was just me, and I enjoyed it. I had a great time with me.
So I ask, Whats So Wrong With Being Single? What is so wrong with you that you don’t want to be alone with you? I can honestly say that I think I have fallen in love with myself. All my curves and all my edges, All my perfect imperfections. I have so much peace and joy residing in me. I’m casting out fear daily. I love me so I’m not depending on anyone else to need to love me. I am who my Creator says I am.
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. –Isaiah 49:16
When you truly love yourself, and know that you know that you know that God does Love *YOU*, you won’t need anyone else to love/like/want you.