Not too long ago I attended a seminar where the facilitator was presenting on sexism in the media. The facilitator showed us a short video compilation of printed images such as advertisements as well as music videos clips. Some dated back to the 50s with the all knowing man and the ditzy wife theme. Some were of a recent timeframe, raunchy and inflammatory, some alluded to violence. Of course, the group I was with [women] found all these images distasteful and yup, you guessed it….SEXIST. Well duh. The discussion questions were very typical per this subject matter, “What do these images have in common? What messages about relationship are in these images?” I didn’t participate much (or at all) because I found all of it to be so much of Intro to Women’s Studies, which I exuberantly participated in over 10 years ago. This was supposed to be a workshop among professionals in my field, but I felt as if I went back to a pre-Kardashian era. Sometimes I wonder why we as a society are still talking about sexism? We are precisely the people that are perpetuating it and parading it around. Like it or not, “society” is not a distant land where all the bad people live. Society is you and me, all of us. Together and individually. Own It.
“A tawdry, cartoonlike version of female sexuality has become so ubiquitous, it no longer seems particular. What we once regarded as a *kind* of sexual expression we now regard *as* sexuality.” -Ariel Levy (Female Chauvinist Pigs, 2005)
(This the most censored photo of “Rihanna see through dress” photo)
I reached the end of my rope this week when I read that Madonna offered fellatio for Clinton votes. YUCK. I read the headline and wanted to throw-up. I’m done. I’m done caring about women that do not care about themselves. Its hard and honestly, don’t know how Jesus has a never-ending cup of cares for people that disgrace themselves. Yes, in decades and centuries that are long gone, men predominately were the ones that objectified us. Of course. However, you’ve got to be blind, deaf, and brain-dead to not comprehend the insidious damage you do to yourselves. You watch raunchy rated R movies, music videos, and tv shows with pubescent boy antics, foul language, derogatory terms, blatant female nudity, rape and much much more AND you LOVE IT. As long as the main female character is someone like Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Amy Schumer and sure even Madonna. You start claiming a membership to the Bee Hive and bragging you have a girl-crush.
“Why is this the “new feminism” and not what it looks like: the old objectification?” -A. Levy
However, not too long ago you hated Black rappers, Eminem and Robin Thicke. How Dare They! No offense, but even men know what kind of women to respect and what kind of women get the crumbs from the table. Sure, they should respect all of us. I’m sure that went out of the window when Adam realized he was naked after eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Adam hid himself and attempted to cover his shame, then blamed Eve for the transgression.
Eve did not respect herself enough to not fall into the lies of the serpent (Satan) and offered Adam a bite into sin. Eve allowed Adam to think sinning with her was desirable and permissible. Perhaps, she thought a little fun wouldn’t be so bad. She soon realized it was not a little fun but a massive error in judgment.
Adam turned his back on her.
The man said, “The woman you put here with me–she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12
You turned your back on God, and in return Adam turned his back on you.
What can be done now?
Stop wearing your nipples and genitals on your sleeve. Stop glamorizing prostitution. Stop calling pornography, prostitution and stripping Sex Work. Its not a profession or an industry. Its sexual abuse, rape, human trafficking and slavery. Stop fawning over celebrities that perpetuate sexual stereotypes. Stop laughing at the crude humor of other women if you’d be “offended” if a man said the same thing. Don’t be a hypocrite. Stop buying supermarket magazines that are one less article away from PlayBoy. Stop watching porn. Stop sexting. Stop “tinder dating,” aka hooking up with strangers you meet online. FYI, no one thinks it’s an actual date. Stop thinking you can’t be sexist because you’re a woman. Stop thinking that calling yourself a feminist absolves you of misogynistic behavior. If you have no grace in your heart for the drug addicted woman that sells her body for just one more hit, then DO NOT praise these celebrities, friends or yourself for trading sexual appeal for just one more hit of attention. Stop trying to be “one of the guys.” So what if you can tell a sexist joke or drink a man under the table, you want credit for that? You want applause for that? Stop stalking other women or the other woman on social media, stalking is predatory behavior. Stop reveling in phallic ornaments like beaded necklaces and drinking straws at bachelorette parties. You celebrate your marriage by worshipping genetalia? Divorce statistics are just so sad aren’t they? Perhaps if adult men and women were making covenants instead of having frat parties, oh I mean weddings.
You have completely trivialized the human body, especially the female body. You continue to over emphasize the physical and underestimate the spiritual. You see yourself as just a sum of your parts, but you and I are much more than the total number of body parts. There is something bigger at stake here. It depressing that you don’t see it. Women are 70% more likely to experience depression than men; 12 million women in the United States are clinically depressed each year.
“And, of course, many individuals find it more acceptable to frame their problems as the result of a mental disorder and to take psychotropic drugs to attempt to relieve their distress than to see their suffering as the result of psychosocial problems.” -Allen Horwitz and Jerome Wakefield
All this liberation and you can not liberate yourself from the pagan sexism you perpetuate. You can be as “sex positive” as you want, but you can not sever yourself from the psychosocial consequences. It is easier to live a life out of control, a slave to your emotions and body than to die to your flesh. You are nothing more than eternal tweens and teens literally dying for cheap thrills.