Gender Issues, Men, open letter, Quick Read, Uncategorized, Women

FW: Screw Off, Feminists: An Open Letter to Men from a Real Woman


From Louder with Crowder. I couldn’t resist sharing!

“Dear Men,

Everyday there’s news/outrage about the latest female tragedy, the “war on women” the #SJW feminist women, the body-shaming women. Then there’s “rape culture” and “male privilege,” and “micro-agression.” Seems to me, if you’re a man in this world, there’s nothing you can do right. If you tell a woman to smile, you’re a sexist. If you tell a woman she’s pretty, you’re reducing her to just her looks. If you tell a woman she’s smart, you’re a sexist for being surprised that she’s smart and more than just her body. If you vocalize that you think a hot woman is hot… oh geez. Bar and lock the doors, the feminists will stab you with their steely knives.

Well as a woman (yeah, it’s Courtney Kirchoff here, not Steven Crowder), here’s something you need to know: women love men. For being men.

Okay, several feminist keyboards have been reduced to dust. Chicas are hammering their keys like the old cavemen hammered their women before dragging them into the cave. Oh that right there? Joke. I know you feminists don’t think it’s funny. Nothing to you is funny. That’s why it’s funny.

Yes, I know you’re out there, SJW feminists. You’re going to call me a bitch. You’re going to call me a sell-out. You’re going to say I’m an ignorant this, that, and plenty of other four and five letter words because I dared to write “women love men,” despite the glaring proof women do love men. Proof? The perpetuation of the species. You know, men and women getting together, doing the deed, having and not aborting their babies. I can hear you all yelling, “PATRIARCHY” and “RAPE,” out there. Yell and scream and stomp all you want. I don’t care. Background noise.

This letter is for the men who go out and do. Who build, who create, who pursue excellence, who make the world a little better by being unapologetic MEN. I’m not talking to the jerks and the creeps. They get too much attention and they do NOT represent all men. Okay? Okay.

Sorry guys, I had to address those harpies first, because they’re shrill and annoying. Where was I? Right, women love men.

Millions of women, myself included, celebrate you guys for being dudes. We may joke about how you annoy us with your one-thing-at-a-time focus, but we love that too. Life is simpler and better with you in it. We love how you say what you mean. You’re uncomplicated, straightforward, and easy to talk to. And we usually don’t have to issue disclaimers before we do speak with you…so thanks for that.

We appreciate that you want to protect women. Despite what all the feminists say, millions of us know you care for women. We know you would pound a punk into the ground if he tried messing with us. We know you love children and want to protect them. We know you want to call your daughters “princesses,” and you’re not being patriarchal when you do.

We celebrate your ambition. One of my favorite qualities in a man is his drive to be his best. He likes to take risks because he likes to push his limits and test his strength. He likes to be challenged both in his career and in his personal pursuits. Every day he is working to better himself to be a greater man than he was before.

We love your competitive drive. Women might mock you for needing to “out do” the other guys, but *this* woman at least, enjoys it. What’s life without a little competition? Thanks for the sarcastic back and forth, for trying to one-up your buddy at the gym. Rock on. We’ll watch and cheer you on. But you better win…

We love your self-deprecating humor and how you want to make us laugh. This one should be self-evident, but sadly it’s not. Even when we don’t want to be cheered up, you still try. You’re a soldier who loves his woman. Even if your woman gives you “the look” I’d like to think that deep down she’s not plotting to smother you with a pillow when you snore; she’s appreciating your good humor. Okay, maybe she wishes you didn’t snore so much. Hey, she’s human, too.

Oh SJWs, give it a rest. Are all men like the ones I’m describing? No. But a lot of men are, and not everything is about you and your micro-agressions and fat-shaming. Stop taking up all the attention, this shouldn’t be about you.


We love how you pursue us when you like us, and we like you. Three feminist’s brains just exploded right there. Yes, men, we LIKE IT when you call us. We like it when you show us how much you care for us by actively pursuing us, even when you have us (7 more feminist brains have exploded). We like it when you open the door and treat us like queens. We like it when you make the plans, when you have direction.

So guys, when you’re constantly bitch-slapped by the loud, modern feminists for “man-spreading,” or whatever other new term they’re going to pull out of their uptight butts, know that millions of women cherish you for exactly who you are: Men. The world is a better place with men in it. Yes. I WROTE THAT. Millions of us support you. We support your careers. We support your choices. We love you for being masculine, and we celebrate you for it.

Now go chop some wood and make us a fire.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff”
0for-being-men/ 11-27-15

Gender Issues

Christian Feminists & Unicorns


I don’t need to call myself a Feminist because my identity is in Christ. I am who He says I am. I don’t need a worldly term to describe me. God made women, as a treasure. Something unique. It is proof of His love and value for us. He would not create something he didn’t value or want. There aren’t labels in Heaven, or Hell. The World told you that you were separate. Inadequate. Weak. Just a woman. God never told you that. The World told you that you needed to prove them wrong, that you needed to prove your worth. Convince them of your value. God never told you that. We need to stop conforming to the things of this world. This life is temporary. You will die having worked so hard to hear the applause of men [and women] for nothing. d4543580ddec61a32b2fddacae0c4e04The Crowd is Fickle.


Feminist is not synonymous with Leader. Many women I know that is the aim. That is the driving force behind calling themselves feminist. They have the desire in their heart to be a leader to do something great. To make a difference. Make a mark on this world.
We roll our eyes at every high school athlete that thinks they will go pro. Or every kid that can spit some rhymes that thinks he will get a record deal and become famous. Many young women think they will graduate college and immediately be promoted to VIP. You want to take the lead in every situation because you do not value behind the scenes work. You’ve been groomed to devalue your femininity. That in order to get what you want, you must be aggressive and use force. You must be the alpha female and some of you strive to be the alpha male. Then you wonder why you’re single, or unhappy in your relationship, or pretty much every relationship. Why your man, won’t step up. Why women are so catty. You’ve bought into the lie that nothing will get done unless you do it. That no one will take care of you. You push through for resources because there won’t be enough for all of us. You think you’re Katniss but really, you do it all for your own glory.


Do you really think this mentality is pleasing to the Lord? We should be asking God: Where do you want me? What job do you want me to have? How can I glorify you in my position?

We should tell God daily, Use me. My words are YOUR words. My body is YOUR body. This is in fact, the only time I will tell someone to use me!

You don’t have to strain. He will give you the desires of your heart, IF THEY ALIGN WITH HIS DESIRES for you.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:4-5.

The desires of my heart have been completely turned upside-Right! I used to not believe in marriage. I thought you can have a loving family without being married. Being married doesn’t guarantee you happiness. Now I see that being married is not about your own definition of happiness, but what is pleasing to the Lord. It pleases him that we are married. It pleases him that we wait until we are married to have sex. God created this for his glory. He commands us to do this with the context of marriage because it will protect us from unnecessary hurts. Now I desire a relationship (that leads to marriage) that I can glorify God in. That the only explanation for such relationship would be that God made it happen. That him and I be an example of the power of a loving God. That my romantic interest be a man after God. That he also be giving back to the church and community in volunteering. That he find his purpose and spiritual gifts. That he wakes up each day to tell God, USE me. That he be the leader of our family. Believe me, I am not too proud to admit, I need some leadership in my home. My way often leads to procrastination, which leads to a plethora of #Lianaproblems. I am currently in the midst of suffering the consequences of yet another #Lianaproblem with regards to finances. I fall short daily of who I think I should be. I can’t tell you enough just how much I cannot do it alone. I cannot do it all and have it all.

Feminist believe that economic power is the source of other kinds of power. That whoever has the money has the power. Even in relationships. Feminist believe that whoever holds the economic power gets to decide a woman’s sexuality, fertility, education level, employment opportunities, household responsibilities. That is why women strain so hard in the workplace. That’s why they strain so hard to be “independent.” Why some young women are valuing money over anything else. But again at the cost of what? Your joy. Your peace. You’re putting your heart and soul on the back burner in the name of feminism. Instead of sex being expressed through marriage as an act of love for the glory of God, some believe sex to be a transaction of power, opportunity, goods, or money. That we either “get” something out of it, or there’s no point.

As Christians, those seeking to follow Christ, we should not be taking on the identities of this world. Jesus was so radical, that so many did not like him. They did not like what he did or said. It did not sit well them. They did not like that people called him Messiah or Son of God. For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God. John 5:18. Jesus did not fit in with the crowd, and neither should we. We should stand out. Our beliefs, behaviors and words should not align with what’s popular. With what is pleasing to ears of others. You have to pick a side.
So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:16

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. John 15:18

If God asked you today, Do you follow my Son or feminism? What will you say?

You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. John 6:39

I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? John 6:43-44


Related Reading:




Gender Issues, Men, Transformation

one for the Boys


When I watch my nephew “play” I wonder what life is like through his eyes. He is often in the middle of an intense battle between The Hulk, Spiderman, Ironman and often switches in and out of roles. He could also be present in a land of dinosaurs and dragons, he is most often a T-Rex. He enjoys pretending to fall down, or acting out a failed jump from the couch to the floor. He is loud and the source of brash noises that seem to only make sense in his context. He turns simple crayons into rocket ships as they burst through the sky. He loves to explore and offer up his small courage to a “haunty house” [any dark room] and transforms himself into a spooked sense of self while in play mode. Between these scenarios, there are spurts of eating. He eats a variety of foods and yet, quite nothing at all. If you haven’t caught on, I take pride in studying his every move.

As a woman that grew up with no brothers with male cousins seen sporadically, my nephew’s methods are appealing and adventuresome. At times, he gets to jumping on me too much and I put my hands up in surrender. Okay, that’s enough I say. And he seems unaware of how I don’t like this activity anymore. I offer some of my own preferred activities like coloring, drawing, reading a book. I’d like to take time to brag that now he finds enjoyment drawing his vicious characters and exploring another version of his imagination. I also have adapted my normal way of doing things to ask him to help me. When I ask him “hey can you help me?” his response is of great willingness and attention. He tries to lift the heavy box, he tries to find the item I am looking for. He loves to help at the grocery store by putting items on the counter for me to scan at the self- checkout. This is not a fast process. I name the item and what he offers me may or may not be that item. But I love to see him listen and search, trying to match words to real life pictures. This is a challenge for him and it’s exciting. Did I get it right?! What is frozen green beans again? Most of all, he wants to DO. He doesn’t want to sit and shut up, and I like it that way.

A backlash of feminism has produced an assault on men.

In high school, I recognized the similarity of many prime time sitcoms, the buffoon dad/husband. This image is different than a Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) or a Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby), these are the Raymond (Everybody Loves Raymond) and Peter Griffin (Family Guy) and some others. There was a shift in the way the husband/father was portrayed in the evening TV shows from decades prior. These men are often displayed at simpletons that just always get it wrong. *insert mechanical laughs now* Without their wife, they would live as 40-something frat boys eating Doritos and sour cream for dinner. These men are incapable of caring for their children appropriately and safely. They are also inept at romancing their wives. I’m not married nor do I have children. However, don’t roll your eyes too far back. I was a child once, a child of two married people. With this image of a man or husband, what modern woman would want to be married? I feel bad this is the way men are depicted not just in TV sitcoms but also big picture movies. This image subconsciously draws us away from each other as men and women. This reiterates that message of I don’t need a man. I can do for myself. These messages are a direct result of feminism.

Can we make bunkbeds? Soooo???

And so I see many, many men taking a backseat to the feminist agenda. If they speak up they are labeled as a sexist and misogynist. If they fall in line, they are tamed. They become passive. They become the man that just stands there when someone is disrespecting you as a woman. They say nothing. If they open a door for you, I can open a door myself. If they take you out, I can pay for myself. But if you sleep with him, can you call you yourself? By the looks of it, that’s the only time some women want a man. To lay in bed with and then obsess over the lack of texts and phone calls coming in. Some women assert their Independence, but cling to their phones waiting for the sad, majestic elusive text message. There’s no judgment here because I have been that woman. Scared to know a man by any other context aside from that which I can assure myself success. I believed that interactions between myself and men were of a win/lose situation. If you know that I like you, I lose. If I’m nice to you, I lose. I used to say I’m not an ego fluffer. I’m not his personal cheerleader. Some of you may be nodding your head like, Right! Let me finish, I now see those beliefs were being held by an immature and insecure woman. There’s a quote that circulates on social media:
“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine brighter.”

I tried to out-shine my fellow man. I was shallow and needed men to know that I was better. I used to believe a man could offer me nothing. The root of these beliefs are for another day.
Four years ago, I went with my pregnant sister to the doctor where we would find out the sex of her baby. When the tech announced there was a penis and that it was a boy, I said “I guess our man-hating days are over.” I have stuck by that statement. How could I welcome a baby boy into this world holding in resentments towards men? How could honor this new member of the family by subconsciously being repelled by all things masculine? How could I take delight in him if I disapproved of his nature?

These days I don’t trash talk men. I actually listen to a few. Men have so much to say and so much to offer us women. Allow yourself to be a woman, soft and beautiful. Allow a man the chance to come through for you. They want to. If a man disappoints you, I plead with you to not become bitter. Do not become prickly. I can only explain this transformation as one produced by God. Without a willingness to be corrected I could not have the heart I have today. We all have value, and I refuse to put down a man in order to self-soothed my own insecurities.

qwRelated Reading:


God Made Girls

The CMAS (Country Music Awards) aired the other night and I was excited. I say today without embarrassment that I have a crush on the South and all that comes with it. I’m a devoted fan of the shows Nashville and Hart of Dixie. Darn you Netflix! And yes, country music. I recently was in Louisville (pronounced LooEL-Ville), Kentucky and was shamefully disappointed to not hear much of that Southern-drawl that I was expecting. I’m intrigued of Southern Belles and Cotillions. The rugged exterior of a hard working down to earth Country Man. From the outside, I see some values that could bring me joy. The South may get scoffed at for being down-home-back-woods-Confederate flag waving-Bible Belt wearing-losers of the Civil War by some but not me. I see a rich History, Tradition and Values. Something I have been wanting and didn’t even know it.


BTW I love music and will reference it throughout my posts. “God Made Girls” is a song on the radio right now and its making a lot of noise. I love it. This song puts a smile on my face and I can’t help but sing along. Had I heard this about 10 years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and given you a blank stare. *blink*blink. I would have corrected you on your use of the word “girl.” What am I 12? Puh-leaze I’m 20! I am a Woman, get it right.

Somebody’s gotta wear a pretty skirt: Excuse me? Why do *I* have to wear a skirt? Because I’m female, I should wear a skirt to get a man’s attention? I’m just here to look good for a man?
Somebody’s gotta wanna hold his hand: Why do I have to hold his hand? Im….wait for it…..INDEPENDENT. I don’t need a man. I don’t need to hold a man’s hand. Anything I want, I can get it myself. I can do it myself.
Somebody’s gotta be the one to cry—Somebody’s gotta let him drive: Oh because I’m female, cry? Because I’m female, I can’t handle my emotions and cry about everything? And ‘gotta let him drive’? So he’s gotta be in control? He just ‘drives’ wherever and I have no say so?

Was this anyone’s inner dialogue while reading these lyrics or listening to the song?
Let’s explore some definitions.

Femininity: the Quality or Nature of the female sex; womanhood; womanliness; pertaining to a woman or girl; Qualities traditionally ascribed to women (sensitivity or gentleness)
Feminism: belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities; the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

These are clearly very different definitions. Which do you prefer? Which sounds better to you? I’m sure you will choose the definition describing feminism and I know why. If you were born within the last 50- 60 years, your socialization since birth has been shaped by feminism. Perhaps, as an infant or toddler, your mother read “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan. Maybe you grew up hearing about “the pill.” It was illegal even for a married woman to have until 1965 (Griswold v. Connecticut). Seven years later in 1972 in Eisenstad v. Baird, the Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to prohibit the sale of oral contraceptives to unmarried women. The infamous Roe v. Wade case of 1973 declared it was unconstitutional for states to ban abortion within the first trimester. If you were born in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s then Feminism is the culture. We are groomed to accept Feminism. If we do not support it we are given the same look as your office bigot. Its so politically correct to shout “Equality!” But many of you don’t even know that we are Equal, in the eyes of God. By believing you are not equal, you are subscribing to an agenda which seeks to demean you. Early Feminism meant, I have the Right to NOT be objectified. Now: I have the right to objectify myself because its my CHOICE. Do you see it may be the same words but put them in a different order and it changes our world.


The First Wave of the Women’s Movement got us the right to vote in 1919. Our ForeMothers, knew they had a lot to offer the society in which they lived. They wanted a voice. A voice to build up a community, not to tear it down. A voice to be taken seriously within their own marriages. Not tear apart their own marriages. A voice to say I should be able to take up hobbies, interests, employment if I choose or if necessary. I can be trusted with responsibilities outside of the home. I respect myself, my family, my community and I asked the same respect from my country.

I look around and listen these days. The women that lived and died never seeing any results, would they be proud of us? Would they look at us in delight with what we have accomplished? We turn our backs on Femininity on our Womanhood. We have become aggressive and critical in our speech. We have become more violent as a demographic. We reject the level on relationship that God gifted us with. We long for a permanent connection yet reject marriage and use men for sex. We, in our own immaturity, have taken on all the traits of men that we deem abusive and undesirable. We model our behavior after men (whom are not perfect). Whom we reject, whom we say we don’t need, whom we call good-for-nothin, lame af and so many other awful labels. We get angry when they don’t stick around. When they “love us” and leave us within the late night hour. When we lay down with them and have their babies, and they still leave. We hate them, yet push and pull, cry and scream, plot and plan for them. This is a result of Feminism. Feminism grooms you from birth like a pedophile grooms a child. It makes you think it is something you want, something that will give you something you don’t already have. God’s Word has taught me the Truth.

Here is who God says I am:
She is worth far more than rubies.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:10-31

What about these qualities should I reject? I am worth more than any jewels on earth! I bring the men in my life and my community GOOD. My arms are STRONG for my tasks. I open my arms to the poor and needy. My clothing doesn’t have to be name brand because my clothing is STRENGTH and DIGNITY. I speak wisdom and life into others. What is wrong with this? God gave me gifts, talents, and traits that are of QUALITY and are my NATURE.

We ask men to get in “touch with their feminine side” to exercise sensitivity and gentleness towards us. Yet, we reject those traits in ourselves. To be sensitive and gentle equates weakness. We puff up our chests, and put on a masculine front. I’ve heard women say they have bigger balls than a man, or “suck my d***” or “my d*** is bigger than yours.” They may say these insults just as a manner of speaking but where does this need to posture and be aggressive towards a man come from? When you say these things, you are denying your strength as a woman, you are saying that you do not possess strength. You do not need to perform male adolescent antics and exhibit a skewed concept of masculinity to be validated.

The Kingdom is ours, when we accept Jesus into our hearts and lives. When we submit to Him and all His ways. You don’t need to fight a fight that’s already been won. We are equal. We are feminine and that is not an undesirable identity. It is not the lowest of the low, but is of the Highest. We fuel the War on Eve when we reject our inner workings. What message are we sending to our girls? That because you are a girl you must act like a boy to have worth but deny their hurts when they bury their femininity at the expense of the Feminist agenda that was meant to make them equal so they could be happy? If that was confusing, it is because it is CONFUSING. I prefer to function on logic and when things do not make sense I cannot stand behind them. I cannot vouch for Feminism anymore.


Related Music: God Made Girls by RaeLynn,