28 Days of Single

0001-53629160“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”

Saturday, February 28:

I love decorating my apartment and I found this gem at one of my favorite stores! I love mirrored things and have a couple pieces of mirrored furniture.

Friday, February 27:

Found this movie at the Christian bookstore while I was getting the book for the small group/young adults group that I’m involved in.
image(I guess Gretchen Wieners was right, Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.) LOL!

Thursday, February 26:

Another 7a-3p day, hard core nap too. Starting a new book tonight, branching out from the usual topics I read about.


Wednesday, February 25:
This evening I contributed to a fundraiser for my sorority by eating at a particular restaurant. Here we are and some members of two fraternities.

I also reconnected with an old friend as we ate together. We haven’t seen each other in about 5 years! Praise God for new beginnings!
Tuesday, February 24:

Regular day at work.

After work I killed some time with…. [guess what]…. a Snickerdoodle latte! I went to church for a leadership team meeting for our Young Adults group. We generated ideas for events like retreats, community service projects, and other fun things.

Monday, February 23:

During the late afternoon, coworkers, youth and I participated in a walk for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. We walked from our city courthouse to a coffee shop about a mile away. We carried signs, mine read – Love is Respect. My face and legs were freezing! It was for a great cause and organized by a youth that has been helped by our agency.

Its frozen pizza Monday!

Watching The Voice, waiting for a sneak peak of the series A.D.! Gona bake chocolate chip cookies in a bit! Happy Monday everyone!
Sunday, February 22:
Children’s ministry and then regular service this morning! While I was waiting for yet another Snickerdoodle latte I saw the Life Church sign! I never saw it before and I don’t know how many times I have been in that drive-thru.



Another day with the family. We went to see a funny family movie called The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day.

I blame the cold and cloudy weather for my lack of energy. Or perhaps not enough caffeine, or going to bed too late last night and waking up extra early. Either way, I can barely keep my eyes open. Just waiting for Downton Abbey to get over and maybe I’ll go to bed early.

Saturday, February 21:

I’m about to start the process for a possible blog post or multiple posts. I’m using the article, 50 Ways to be a Woman by Caitlin Leggett. I’ll be jotting down notes or anything that comes to mind in this pretty journal that a cousin gave me because of the peacock theme in my living room.

A little Mean Girls on just to keep the creative juices flowing.

Ate dinner with my family earlier. This fella is my favorite person.
Friday, February 20:

Watching This Means War and pretending I’m Reese Witherspoon minus Chris Pine. It’s just me and my babe Tom Hardy.

Thursday, February 19:

Today I worked my other job, another 7a-3p day. There was an unexpected meeting between current employees and some newer leadership that will work together to revitalize our program.  I allowed my business side to come out, I can be very bold when I need to be.


Some people submit to leadership that doesn’t exist just because it’s perceived. I can see bull crap a mile away. I’ve never needed a title, when I speak others listen and that’s all that matters.


Wednesday, February 18:

I struggled a bit today, as I continue to trust God regarding my finances. However, just when I had given up, I got a phone call from my dad. He said he had some money for me. It’s not a lot but it will be enough to get me through the next week. I attended the last night of the revival at my church. It was truly special. It was the kind of time where you know nothing will ever be the same after such a moment. Allen Griffin is “so *Annointed.” Lol but he really opened us up to more of what God has for us.

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Tuesday, February 17:

Today I ate at one of my favorite restaurants, Noodles & Co. with a friend. I always order Penne Rosa. It’s my favorite. I swung by and grabbed another Snickerdoodle latte before church. I think I’m addicted. Tonight’s service was amazing and reminded me of the Onething Conference in Kansas City! Most importantly Jesus is saying YES to my dream! Stopped at the store before coming home and found this! Every voluptuous Latina’s dream! image _______________________________________

Monday, February 16:

Dying my hair. My preferred shade is Soft Black. Gota get rid of all these gray hairs! Not really though, there’s like two. I’m not lyin! image __________________________________________

Sunday, February 15:

Today was one of the two church services that I volunteer in the children’s ministry service. Actual service was great as it was a guest speaker. He will be preaching until Wednesday as part of an awakening revival. I got a very late Christmas present from my mom, lol. image (an ornament with Bible verses and charms inside and a gift card to my favorite coffee spot) My family and I ate out at a restaurant and I thoroughly enjoyed sweet potato fries with my burger . My dad decided to buy my nephew a Captain America shield at a store we went to. My nephew grabbed my hand and led me through the store whispering as if we were on an adventure! It was so funny!


Saturday, February 14:

Today is Valentines Day and will be a great one. I devoured a quaint breakfast a Smart One egg scramble thingy, while wheat toast, coconut flavored coffee, and Trop50 orange juice (which is real good). I’m watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman waiting for my favorite scene; when Orlando proposes to Helen. “I know you don’t believe in fairy tales. But if you did…I’d want to be your knight in shining armor. You’ve been through so much. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Now, i may not be able to give you all that you’re used to. But i do know i can love you past your pain. I don’t want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning. That’s all you have to do, and I’ll take it from there. There’s one condition. You have to be my wife.” Later, I had another Snickerdoodle latte with my Little of my sorority. After that I met up with friends for a girls’ night. We had a great time! image image

Radiating Joy!


Friday, February 13:

I’ve been so tired all day because I haven’t had any coffee all day. However, it was a productive day. Paid my bills today: tithe, phone and utilities! Made valentine’s for some teens at my local library on behalf of the program I run. image Prepared a Valentine’s present for tomorrow’s evening with friends. Can’t post any pictures of it because its a white elephant gift exchange.


Thursday, February 12:

Another home work-out, but 10s are so heavy though! image __________________________________________

Wednesday, February 11:

Had a job interview for a wonderful job at a wonderful agency. I did a presentation/training for another agency for the program I run. And just to keep it real, I’ll leave you with this gem. image _________________________________________

Tuesday, February 10:

I went to bed early last night, a little after 10pm. I slept so well. I am feeling a whole lot better. Working my other job 7a-3p. Found a pretty mug at work for coffee. image Today was a home-workout day (the first in a Super long time). The last time I did any of these videos I still lived at home with my parents! image __________________________________________

Monday, February 9:

Today I was sick and stayed home from work. I had zero energy and could barely eat. All I could do was lay around and try to be awake. Painting my nails was the high point of today. image image __________________________________________

Sunday, February 8:

Here is a poem I wrote recently.

A Single Girl’s Prayer
Thank you for not letting me keep the guys I asked you for. The first, the last, and the ones in between. All I loved or thought I loved.

Thank you for saving me from more trouble. Thank you for loving me enough to sever ties from those guys, no matter how dramatic, because sometimes that’s all I can understand. Thank you for ruining my relationships.

Thank you for teaching me not to wait to have fun. To enjoy these times that are fleeting. Thank you for protecting my heart. Thank you for being my heavenly Father that says, Don’t mess with my daughter.

Thank you for sending me guys that didn’t love me enough or at all- to remind me of who You are and you don’t want anything between us. Thank you for being my friend and sharing your wisdom with me. Thank you for telling me “go and sin no more.”

Thank you for giving me time to get to know myself as your daughter. Thank you for time to get to know my other brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for allowing my collection of stories to be a testimony- one that glorifies you. Most of all thank you for loving me enough to keep me to yourself a little longer… image _____________________________________________________

Saturday, February 7:

I’m beyond tired. I was so busy and didn’t have much time to myself. I started my at Panera discussing the Misty Edwards book I told you about before. A friend of mine and I meet every other Saturday morning to talk about what we read. We end up talking for hours about the book and all kinds of other stuff. I left there to meet my family for a dinner I was not expecting. From there i left to meet up for a work social at an upscale bowling alley for another dinner. It seemed like a really cool place but the service was horrible. I left there to attend a meeting at church for those of that serve in some way (I serve in the children’s ministry twice a month). After that I still had to run to the store for a few items. This was a little too much for me, no down time, no time to recharge. I. am. drained. image image __________________________________________

Friday, February 6:

Upcycling! Get’n wax out of used store bought candles. image

And listening to my girl Mariah. image

Me and Bestie LOL! image

After… image __________________________________________

Thursday, February 5:

Worked my other job 7a-3p, on 5 hours of sleep. Now it’s time to party. image _________________________________________

Wednesday February 4:

NASHVILLE! Team Deacon! image

image image

Couldn’t forget to drop rent off….. at the last minute! image


Tuesday, February 3:

Today I made some fun valentine’s that I will attach to individual kool-aid packs for teens at my local library (on behalf of the program I run. image I had an amazing Snickerdoodle latte at Scooters with a friend on our way to the young adults group at our church. It was great preaching and fun conversation with friends!


Monday, February 2:

It is a bookworm night. I’m reading two books and getting caught up tonight. image I read 40+ pages at a time of this one, it’s that good. I highly recommend this, especially if you think you are a Feminist. image Book two is What’s the Point by Misty Edwards. In the words of Misty, You have to know that you know that you know. __________________________________________

Sunday, February 1:

Today was a snowy day and even church was cancelled! image It put me in a bit of a funk. I took some time to get my attitude in check. I read a devotional for today and listened to my 2015 anthem multiple times.image

Sundays are designated family days so I’ve been with my parents, sister and nephew for hours now. I’m catching up on a episode of Downton Abbey that I missed, patiently waiting the new episode at 8pm. I wait all week to see the Grantham family. imageThey’re always after Mr.Bates! and Edith is a hot mess!




God Made Girls

The CMAS (Country Music Awards) aired the other night and I was excited. I say today without embarrassment that I have a crush on the South and all that comes with it. I’m a devoted fan of the shows Nashville and Hart of Dixie. Darn you Netflix! And yes, country music. I recently was in Louisville (pronounced LooEL-Ville), Kentucky and was shamefully disappointed to not hear much of that Southern-drawl that I was expecting. I’m intrigued of Southern Belles and Cotillions. The rugged exterior of a hard working down to earth Country Man. From the outside, I see some values that could bring me joy. The South may get scoffed at for being down-home-back-woods-Confederate flag waving-Bible Belt wearing-losers of the Civil War by some but not me. I see a rich History, Tradition and Values. Something I have been wanting and didn’t even know it.


BTW I love music and will reference it throughout my posts. “God Made Girls” is a song on the radio right now and its making a lot of noise. I love it. This song puts a smile on my face and I can’t help but sing along. Had I heard this about 10 years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and given you a blank stare. *blink*blink. I would have corrected you on your use of the word “girl.” What am I 12? Puh-leaze I’m 20! I am a Woman, get it right.

Somebody’s gotta wear a pretty skirt: Excuse me? Why do *I* have to wear a skirt? Because I’m female, I should wear a skirt to get a man’s attention? I’m just here to look good for a man?
Somebody’s gotta wanna hold his hand: Why do I have to hold his hand? Im….wait for it…..INDEPENDENT. I don’t need a man. I don’t need to hold a man’s hand. Anything I want, I can get it myself. I can do it myself.
Somebody’s gotta be the one to cry—Somebody’s gotta let him drive: Oh because I’m female, cry? Because I’m female, I can’t handle my emotions and cry about everything? And ‘gotta let him drive’? So he’s gotta be in control? He just ‘drives’ wherever and I have no say so?

Was this anyone’s inner dialogue while reading these lyrics or listening to the song?
Let’s explore some definitions.

Femininity: the Quality or Nature of the female sex; womanhood; womanliness; pertaining to a woman or girl; Qualities traditionally ascribed to women (sensitivity or gentleness)
Feminism: belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities; the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

These are clearly very different definitions. Which do you prefer? Which sounds better to you? I’m sure you will choose the definition describing feminism and I know why. If you were born within the last 50- 60 years, your socialization since birth has been shaped by feminism. Perhaps, as an infant or toddler, your mother read “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan. Maybe you grew up hearing about “the pill.” It was illegal even for a married woman to have until 1965 (Griswold v. Connecticut). Seven years later in 1972 in Eisenstad v. Baird, the Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to prohibit the sale of oral contraceptives to unmarried women. The infamous Roe v. Wade case of 1973 declared it was unconstitutional for states to ban abortion within the first trimester. If you were born in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s then Feminism is the culture. We are groomed to accept Feminism. If we do not support it we are given the same look as your office bigot. Its so politically correct to shout “Equality!” But many of you don’t even know that we are Equal, in the eyes of God. By believing you are not equal, you are subscribing to an agenda which seeks to demean you. Early Feminism meant, I have the Right to NOT be objectified. Now: I have the right to objectify myself because its my CHOICE. Do you see it may be the same words but put them in a different order and it changes our world.


The First Wave of the Women’s Movement got us the right to vote in 1919. Our ForeMothers, knew they had a lot to offer the society in which they lived. They wanted a voice. A voice to build up a community, not to tear it down. A voice to be taken seriously within their own marriages. Not tear apart their own marriages. A voice to say I should be able to take up hobbies, interests, employment if I choose or if necessary. I can be trusted with responsibilities outside of the home. I respect myself, my family, my community and I asked the same respect from my country.

I look around and listen these days. The women that lived and died never seeing any results, would they be proud of us? Would they look at us in delight with what we have accomplished? We turn our backs on Femininity on our Womanhood. We have become aggressive and critical in our speech. We have become more violent as a demographic. We reject the level on relationship that God gifted us with. We long for a permanent connection yet reject marriage and use men for sex. We, in our own immaturity, have taken on all the traits of men that we deem abusive and undesirable. We model our behavior after men (whom are not perfect). Whom we reject, whom we say we don’t need, whom we call good-for-nothin, lame af and so many other awful labels. We get angry when they don’t stick around. When they “love us” and leave us within the late night hour. When we lay down with them and have their babies, and they still leave. We hate them, yet push and pull, cry and scream, plot and plan for them. This is a result of Feminism. Feminism grooms you from birth like a pedophile grooms a child. It makes you think it is something you want, something that will give you something you don’t already have. God’s Word has taught me the Truth.

Here is who God says I am:
She is worth far more than rubies.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:10-31

What about these qualities should I reject? I am worth more than any jewels on earth! I bring the men in my life and my community GOOD. My arms are STRONG for my tasks. I open my arms to the poor and needy. My clothing doesn’t have to be name brand because my clothing is STRENGTH and DIGNITY. I speak wisdom and life into others. What is wrong with this? God gave me gifts, talents, and traits that are of QUALITY and are my NATURE.

We ask men to get in “touch with their feminine side” to exercise sensitivity and gentleness towards us. Yet, we reject those traits in ourselves. To be sensitive and gentle equates weakness. We puff up our chests, and put on a masculine front. I’ve heard women say they have bigger balls than a man, or “suck my d***” or “my d*** is bigger than yours.” They may say these insults just as a manner of speaking but where does this need to posture and be aggressive towards a man come from? When you say these things, you are denying your strength as a woman, you are saying that you do not possess strength. You do not need to perform male adolescent antics and exhibit a skewed concept of masculinity to be validated.

The Kingdom is ours, when we accept Jesus into our hearts and lives. When we submit to Him and all His ways. You don’t need to fight a fight that’s already been won. We are equal. We are feminine and that is not an undesirable identity. It is not the lowest of the low, but is of the Highest. We fuel the War on Eve when we reject our inner workings. What message are we sending to our girls? That because you are a girl you must act like a boy to have worth but deny their hurts when they bury their femininity at the expense of the Feminist agenda that was meant to make them equal so they could be happy? If that was confusing, it is because it is CONFUSING. I prefer to function on logic and when things do not make sense I cannot stand behind them. I cannot vouch for Feminism anymore.


Related Music: God Made Girls by RaeLynn,