Gender Issues, Uncategorized, Women

Why I’m Pro Life

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Do not envy the violent
or choose any of their ways.
For the Lord detests the perverse
but takes the upright into his confidence. Proverbs 3:31-32

A war cry was sounded in July 2015 when the Center for Medical Progress unleashed 10 videos. The Planned Parenthood videos. In these videos we heard PP execs negotiate money for scalps. Oops! I’m thinking of The Revenant. I’m mean for baby body parts. I watched in disgust as I women cackled like hit-men; others watched in denial. It turned into controversy. You mean PP wasn’t truly helping sad-poor-women, but building larger budgets for their Lambos? Yelawolf thought he was driving daddy’s Lambo not your maternal ovum donor’s.

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I considered posting a blog on the topic last year as the videos continued to surface. I wasn’t sure of what to say. The videos said it all. The Pro Life pages I follow said it all. What would I say that wasn’t being said?

So here you and I are…lets begin.

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My parents weren’t married when my mom became pregnant. They were living at home with their parents. Working entry level jobs. They were in love. They weren’t ready to be parents. They even broke up for a short time. For the first few months of my life, I lived in two homes, the homes of my grandparents. The three of us moved into an apartment [a crappy one] and they were married 5 months after I was born. My parents never hid any of the this from me. I grew up knowing I wasn’t planned. Because my parents weren’t prepared for parenthood nor for marriage, lots of mistakes were made. I was witness to two selfish people push and pull on each other- not in a #relationshipgoals kind of way. It was ugly and I questioned why my mom even had me. As a child, I remember imagining this was my temporary family, “My real family isn’t ready for me yet so I have to be here until God gets them ready.” There were good times but I grew up uncertain of many things. It took years and by years I mean 20+ of them to heal. Families are not perfect. Parents are not perfect. Life, love, and sex are messy. It takes years to clean up the aftermath.

You may say that’s exactly what I’m saving my baby from. A bad life. But all I hear you saying is that you don’t want to grow up. You don’t want to change. You don’t want anything interrupting your life. Your life is for you and you only. You’re wrong.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1Corinthians 6:19-20

A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. Proverbs 21:2

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When my mom’s sister found out that she was pregnant, my aunt said, “Why don’t you just get rid of it?”

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I have never had the privilege of being pregnant. There have been plenty of opportunities. Thinking back to my first boyfriend- I lost my virginity when I was 17. We were in love. With our Romeo and Juliet Complex, we decided to get pregnant. He was moving away and in our teenage brains we thought if only I were to get pregnant, then he’d have to stay! So I stopped taking my birth control pills for all of 6 or 7 days as we “tried” to get me knocked up. I knew it wasn’t the smartest decision as he was a high school drop out with no job and I was just a senior in high school. I didn’t see it as working in the long run- but I didn’t care to think it through.

Fast forward to some more guys later. Boyfriends or non-boyfriends. I took many pregnancy tests but all of them- always negative. Phew! Whether I wanted to be or Not.

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There have been so many times I was glad to never have had a child with someone from my past. By the Grace and Mercy of God he spared me.

I’ve envisioned telling my family and friends “I’m pregnant” to be bombarded with: But who’s the father? I didn’t know you had a boyfriend? But you don’t have a boyfriend? I didn’t know you were seeing someone? Is it ____’s? Who? What? When? Posting a sonogram photo to my timeline, maybe I’d get lots of Likes. Hopefully everyone would keep those questions to themselves. I may not have ever had the courage to answer them. Every answer from my mouth would feel like an earthquake to my heart.

Telling the guy I want to be with and accepting that he doesn’t want to be with me still. Entertaining the idea that I’m trying to trap him. Knowing this will most likely create more distance between us rather than draw him toward me. Or worse, telling me to take care of it. Would he turn out to be that cold and heartless? A guy moving on with someone else and I would just be the girl he had a baby with. No one special.

Being another single mom. A baby momma. Dealing with a baby dad. Dealing with a guy that says: I don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s not mine. That’s your problem. I had never fantasized about being pregnant solo, who does? Setting up a crib in my one bed-room apartment. Coordinating with the “dad” [if he was involved] drop off and pick up times. Meeting him at the door or car. Pretending like there wasn’t anything else to discuss. Dealing with unmet expectations and disappointment on the regular. Reminding myself that I also had a hand in this mess too. I should’ve known better. I do know better. I should have used protection. I should have never slept with him.

Aside from all of that, I’ve always known if I ever become pregnant, I would become a Mother. There has never been another option in my sight. I may not have wanted to have a child with that guy or this guy- but I always knew it didn’t matter. I’d be a Mom and a great one. I could never imagine getting rid of my baby all because the situation with the guy fell through. The results of a pregnancy test always put my relationships in perspective. I’ve never thought there to be a right time or wrong time to get pregnant. All the money and education cannot fully prepare you to be a mom [or dad]. We must eradicate this lie. No one has the $300,000 [“that it costs to raise a child”] just sitting in their bank account. You’re heart prepares you. As a woman, your body was made for this. Trust me, its biology and theology. Divinely created to enrapture a baby.

Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17

I feel it in my heart. I feel it in my bones. I long for the opportunity. The privilege.

I am Pro Life.

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Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. Romans 6:13

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=922582726158&id=149700362

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Transformation, Uncategorized

21 Before 21

As the year comes to a close in just a few days,  I thought I’d share 21 things I wish I knew before I was 21. What would I tell my younger self?

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1. Cockiness is not Confidence. Humble yourself.

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2. Don’t spend money you don’t have (credit cards, buying things before paying bills).

3. Guys will use you,

4. If you let them.

5. The bad boy is not who you want to marry and have kids with.

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6. You will need your friends.

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7. Trust God, not the world.

8. You don’t have to try so hard [titles, status, guys].

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9. Don’t give away your power. The worst times in your life are a direct result of giving away your power.

10. Feminism is a lie. An imitation. True female empowerment comes from Heavenly places.

11. Living solo is great.

12. There is a plan. God’s plan. You’ll take many detours, but God will always redirect you.

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13. Stop hiding your feelings

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14. and Stop trying to play it cool.

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15. You can depend on others, it doesn’t mean that you’re incompetent. Ask for help.

16. You’re ENOUGH.

17. You do want to get married, stop lying.

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18. People like you for you. Stop thinking you’re weird.

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19. Don’t let anyone come between your peace and joy.

20. God is not afraid to hurt your feelings.

21. When it doubt call Mom or Dad.

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In case you forgot what 2005&2006 felt and sounded like, here’s are some of my jams from back in the day! Proceed at your own risk LOL!





*Bonus* All you need to know about the old me can be experienced in these two albums!
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I could have saved this girl a lot of trouble… 5/15/06
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I’d love to hear from you! What would you tell your younger self?

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Gender Issues, Men, open letter, Quick Read, Uncategorized, Women

FW: Screw Off, Feminists: An Open Letter to Men from a Real Woman

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From Louder with Crowder. I couldn’t resist sharing!

“Dear Men,

Everyday there’s news/outrage about the latest female tragedy, the “war on women” the #SJW feminist women, the body-shaming women. Then there’s “rape culture” and “male privilege,” and “micro-agression.” Seems to me, if you’re a man in this world, there’s nothing you can do right. If you tell a woman to smile, you’re a sexist. If you tell a woman she’s pretty, you’re reducing her to just her looks. If you tell a woman she’s smart, you’re a sexist for being surprised that she’s smart and more than just her body. If you vocalize that you think a hot woman is hot… oh geez. Bar and lock the doors, the feminists will stab you with their steely knives.

Well as a woman (yeah, it’s Courtney Kirchoff here, not Steven Crowder), here’s something you need to know: women love men. For being men.

Okay, several feminist keyboards have been reduced to dust. Chicas are hammering their keys like the old cavemen hammered their women before dragging them into the cave. Oh that right there? Joke. I know you feminists don’t think it’s funny. Nothing to you is funny. That’s why it’s funny.

Yes, I know you’re out there, SJW feminists. You’re going to call me a bitch. You’re going to call me a sell-out. You’re going to say I’m an ignorant this, that, and plenty of other four and five letter words because I dared to write “women love men,” despite the glaring proof women do love men. Proof? The perpetuation of the species. You know, men and women getting together, doing the deed, having and not aborting their babies. I can hear you all yelling, “PATRIARCHY” and “RAPE,” out there. Yell and scream and stomp all you want. I don’t care. Background noise.

This letter is for the men who go out and do. Who build, who create, who pursue excellence, who make the world a little better by being unapologetic MEN. I’m not talking to the jerks and the creeps. They get too much attention and they do NOT represent all men. Okay? Okay.

Sorry guys, I had to address those harpies first, because they’re shrill and annoying. Where was I? Right, women love men.

Millions of women, myself included, celebrate you guys for being dudes. We may joke about how you annoy us with your one-thing-at-a-time focus, but we love that too. Life is simpler and better with you in it. We love how you say what you mean. You’re uncomplicated, straightforward, and easy to talk to. And we usually don’t have to issue disclaimers before we do speak with you…so thanks for that.

We appreciate that you want to protect women. Despite what all the feminists say, millions of us know you care for women. We know you would pound a punk into the ground if he tried messing with us. We know you love children and want to protect them. We know you want to call your daughters “princesses,” and you’re not being patriarchal when you do.

We celebrate your ambition. One of my favorite qualities in a man is his drive to be his best. He likes to take risks because he likes to push his limits and test his strength. He likes to be challenged both in his career and in his personal pursuits. Every day he is working to better himself to be a greater man than he was before.

We love your competitive drive. Women might mock you for needing to “out do” the other guys, but *this* woman at least, enjoys it. What’s life without a little competition? Thanks for the sarcastic back and forth, for trying to one-up your buddy at the gym. Rock on. We’ll watch and cheer you on. But you better win…

We love your self-deprecating humor and how you want to make us laugh. This one should be self-evident, but sadly it’s not. Even when we don’t want to be cheered up, you still try. You’re a soldier who loves his woman. Even if your woman gives you “the look” I’d like to think that deep down she’s not plotting to smother you with a pillow when you snore; she’s appreciating your good humor. Okay, maybe she wishes you didn’t snore so much. Hey, she’s human, too.

Oh SJWs, give it a rest. Are all men like the ones I’m describing? No. But a lot of men are, and not everything is about you and your micro-agressions and fat-shaming. Stop taking up all the attention, this shouldn’t be about you.

Ahem.

We love how you pursue us when you like us, and we like you. Three feminist’s brains just exploded right there. Yes, men, we LIKE IT when you call us. We like it when you show us how much you care for us by actively pursuing us, even when you have us (7 more feminist brains have exploded). We like it when you open the door and treat us like queens. We like it when you make the plans, when you have direction.

So guys, when you’re constantly bitch-slapped by the loud, modern feminists for “man-spreading,” or whatever other new term they’re going to pull out of their uptight butts, know that millions of women cherish you for exactly who you are: Men. The world is a better place with men in it. Yes. I WROTE THAT. Millions of us support you. We support your careers. We support your choices. We love you for being masculine, and we celebrate you for it.

Now go chop some wood and make us a fire.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff”

http://louderwithcrowder.com/opinion-dear-men-women-actually-love-you-
0for-being-men/ 11-27-15

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Men, Women

Doing Single Well

I’m not an expert in relationships. In fact, I’m sure a statistician could create a formula and generate some numbers to show that statistically speaking, I’m bad at them [relationships].

I haven’t been in many. They haven’t always lasted long. They’ve always failed. The guys? Umm… See Am I My Brother’s Keeper- I mention them briefly.

I’m not putting myself down. I’m being honest. I’m being Real. I’m not in the business of covering up my messes, my HOT messes. My walk with Christ in the most recent years, has revealed that those relationships/situationships were doomed from the beginning. Before they even started. Before a first kiss, a first glance. Doomed. Destined to fail.

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Since getting serious with God about three years ago, I have not been in a relationship. I have been single since May 2012.

I’m writing this piece as an expert at being single. A professional singleton. Here are my main tenets for being single, especially a “Christian” single:

  1. Know Yourself

Outside of and apart from some dude or chick, who are you really? Outside of trying to impress a potential lover. Apart from trying to win the affection and validation of another person. Visualize your life in the future or even now. What do you want in it?

Eventually and God willing, I want a husband. I want the boyfriend that will be the fiance, that will the husband, that will be the father of my children. I’d like to move out of my city to a smaller community on the outskirts. I’d like to home-school my children while they are young. I’d like to have a home that is accommodating enough that we can invite friends and family over for holidays and special occasions. I’d like to continue serving Christ and have a husband that does the same. I’d like to raise children against the grain. I’d also like to become a foster parent of older teens.

This is me. This is what I want for my life. You either want the same or you don’t.
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What don’t I want? Dysfunction. I detest dysfunction. I need someone that is just as committed as I am to living a life free of dysfunction.

If a guy doesn’t want to be my husband or the father of my children, he is not for me. If he is not committed to destroying the dysfunction in himself, he is not for me. If he chooses to not give his heart to Jesus Christ, he is not for me.

I’m seeing too many people trying to Churchify and Christianize some dude or chick they’re fooling around with. If you’ve already sinned with this person, what makes you think you can flirt or seduce them into coming to church with you and that somehow makes it all Right? Your attempt at fooling God is futile. He sees your deeds and sees your heart. Stop trying to validate, justify and impress yourself with all your church dates.

Some ladies need to know there are guys that will come to church with you as long as they think its one step closer to getting in your bed.

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God says that He knew you before you were born. Jeremiah 1:5

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

“I am God’s child.
Galatians 3:26

I am Jesus’ friend.
John 15:15

I am a whole new person with a whole new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17

I am a place where God’s Spirit lives.
1 Corinthians 6:19

I am God’s Incredible work of art.
Ephesians 2:10

I am totally and completely forgiven.
1 John 1:9

I am created In God’s likeness.
Ephesians 4:24

I am spiritually alive.
Ephesians 2:5

I am a citizen of Heaven.
Philippians 3:20

I am God’s messenger to the world.
Acts 1:8

I am God’s disciple-maker.
Matthew 28:19

I am the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:13

I am the light of the world.
Matthew 5:14

I am greatly loved.
Romans 5:8”

http://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/faithandlife/devotionals/what-does-bible-say-about-me.html

You are who God says you are. Not what some dude or chick said. If your ego is getting fluffed up by “You’re hot” and “Hey Sexy,”… You Are in Danger. If your love tank is getting filled up by fornication, You’re On Your Death Bed.

I tell you this from experience. See The Purge. I tell you this to help open your eyes Wide and snap you into reality. God is on His way back to Earth. What do you want to get caught doing when He arrives?

Confession: In God’s strength, I have been abstinent for over two years. It can be done. I’m serious about waiting until I’m married.
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2. If Its Not From God, I Don’t Want It

Nowhere in the bible does God, Jesus or anyone else guarantee you a husband or wife. You’ll have to prepare yourself to live a solo life. I ask God for a husband, but I don’t feel entitled to one. I ask God to prepare me to be a wife. God knows exactly who I’d like to be my husband. I pray for that person but I also tell God, “If its someone else, I’d be happy with that.” I preface a lot prayers with “If its your will…” I have relinquished all my Proverbs 7 ways. Look it up and read it well.

I continue to let God direct my path and move within me. I ask Him to mold me and shape me. Yes, guys catch my eye. Yes, I fantasize a little bit with the “what ifs” but I always stop myself and give it to God. I’ve apologized to God, “God, I’m sorry if I’m wanting [ fill in the blank guy] more than I’m wanting you.” You’ll have to get in the habit of giving people, fantasies, thoughts, feelings and ideas to God. Get in the habit of relinquishing your fleeting “control” over to the Master. You’re not entitled to a man or woman, not entitled to have sex. We are to be living pure Holy lives. So get used to denying your flesh, dying to yourself. If you believe its your Right to have a “physical release” you’re mocking God. Eve thought she had a Right to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

I continue to give moments to God, continue to press into Him. Continue to do things His way not mine. Mine leads to Heartache, Confusion, Insecurity, Rejection and Darkness.

3. Be Smart

I describe myself as a strategic person. The steps I take, no matter how small will lead to my end goal. Each step is leading me in the direction I want to go. Where are your steps leading you?

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If you want a job, you get up, look and apply for jobs. You go to the interview, accept a job offer, then show up when you’re supposed to. However, some people think jobs fall out of the sky while you lay on the couch in your underwear watching the Steve Harvey show and eating Lucky Charms.

Being smart, means taking responsibility for your actions and choices. At some point, you’re going to have to accept responsibility for your poor choices. You chose to have sex with someone not committed to you. Someone you’ve known for about 5 minutes. Someone that is not seeking Christ. Someone that doesn’t take your choices seriously. You’re upset because they don’t care about your relationship with Jesus? You’re upset they don’t see the point in honoring God? You’re upset because they don’t care to understand the turmoil you feel when you sin? You chose to sin with them and are upset they aren’t upset? And you wonder why they look at you like you’re crazy!

I firmly believe there are times you can only love certain people from a distance. You may “want” this person badly, and even for the Right reasons- to Glorify Christ in the final Outcome. Lord, if we ended up together, Lord, if he gave his heart to you- it would be for your Glory! Happily Ever After, The End.
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Not always. Not exactly. I will continue to choose Jesus day in and day out, despite getting the things or people I want. There’s more to life, than lovers and spouses. I choose to honor God in not coveting what isn’t mine. If you’re longing desperately for some dude or chick, check you heart. Is you’re longing for that person replacing your longing for your Creator?

I do my best to keep drama away. I do my best to play it smart and make sure I get the results I’m looking for. I no longer have the energy to confuse myself with my poor choices and want the other person to “understand me.” God knew sex was deep stuff. He knew it was binding. He knew it was powerful. He knew that outside of His protection (marriage) it could destroy people. It could cause chaos and emotional havoc. If you continue to be unhappy single and feel entitled to have “someone, ” to engage someone sexually- you are not playing it smart.
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These are my tenets. Lessons I’ve learned in terrible ways. I sharing this with you in hopes it will make sense to you and you will get your heart Right with God.

 

 

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Quick Read

Whats So Wrong With Being Single?

Today it’s a regular Monday in April. Cloudy and rainy here in Midwestern USA. I don’t watch weather forecasts but prefer to take the day as is. I prefer to not stress myself over things I do not control. Adding information such as, “partly sunny” and “30% chance of rain” does not serve my over-thinking brain well.
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I actively practice controlling my thoughts. Not every thought I think should be surfed on. Some lead to old ways of thinking, some lead to negative self-talk, some lead to worry. Some of my thoughts come from God. Like, when I get married I’d like to move to a smaller community outside of my main city. If and when I have children, I’d like to home-school them for a while. I’ve had these thoughts come to me that I would never think on my own. In fact, they sound a lot like things I would scoff at. I measure them based on a few key ideas.

*Is it what God would say?
*Can it be rooted in Scripture?
*Does it make sense?
*Is it healthy for me? Does it create peace and joy?

If I’m thinking something that does not fit in with what God says, is not found in God’s Word, it doesn’t make sense, and is not healthy…..then I sever the thoughts from my heart and mind.

One thought (question) that keeps reoccurring is, What’s So Wrong With Being Single?

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I have been Single since May 2012. I’m very much used to being single, relationships are what is foreign to me. My last relationship was almost 3 years ago. Though there was a ‘situationship’ (please see The Purge, and Is It Official?) that became active again after that relationship ended, it’s been almost 2 years since I have seen that person. Though text messages still sporadically surfaced, nothing significant ever materialized. And that, has described my romantic life (HA!) for the past 3 years.

On Thursday, I found myself having to kill an hour of time before meeting with a friend. I had chosen to pop into a Mexican-themed restaurant to grab a bite to eat near our meeting location. After parking and deciding that crossing the busier street was just going to be too much effort, I looked around and spotted a seafood restaurant. All my life I have claimed to hate seafood. However, I have learned to enjoy shrimp, sushi, calamari, and the random main dish of some type of fish another good friend has cooked for me. I used my phone to look at the restaurant’s menu just to confirm the pull I was feeling. They had a happy hour menu which means cheaper items and smaller portions. I spotted the words Fish Taco. Hmm, I always hear about fish tacos. In movies like I Love You, Man.

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“beer battered or blackened white fish, slaw, pineapple pico de gallo, avocado and charred jalapeño crema 3.5”
Pineapple, avocado, jalapeno. Decision made. I walked in and was sat at a booth. I ordered the fish taco and it was delicious.

I tell you all this in detail because I don’t do spontaneous too much. I had originally picked the Mexican place because I have been there multiple times, and I know what to expect. I was proud of myself to have done something I hadn’t even thought about. There is more to what I felt in those moments of a solitary disposition. I felt content. I felt relaxed. I felt pleased with myself. I was enjoying the time I was spending with me.

On Friday, I met my family at the zoo. They were already inside and so I paid for my own ticket in. We visited a few attractions together but they were on a time crunch so they had to leave after a while. I decided to stay a bit longer. I have had thoughts about going to the zoo by myself, but would never follow through. I found it amusing that the pull had its way anyway. I visited the Kingdom of the Night, Aquarium and Butterfly Exhibit. I walked at my own pace, I stopped and watched animals for however long I wanted. There was no pressure to hurry along or to stay with the group. It was just me, and I enjoyed it. I had a great time with me.

So I ask, Whats So Wrong With Being Single? What is so wrong with you that you don’t want to be alone with you? I can honestly say that I think I have fallen in love with myself. All my curves and all my edges, All my perfect imperfections. I have so much peace and joy residing in me. I’m casting out fear daily. I love me so I’m not depending on anyone else to need to love me. I am who my Creator says I am.

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. –Isaiah 49:16

When you truly love yourself, and know that you know that you know that God does Love *YOU*, you won’t need anyone else to love/like/want you.

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Related Reading:
http://www.crcna.org/resources/church-resources/reading-sermons/engraved-palm-his-hand
http://theonlinebibleschool.net/single-articles/controlling-your-thought-life.html
http://www.girldefined.com/handle-unexpected-single-years
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Quick Read

Is it Official?

We’re just talking

He’s not my boyfriend

We’re not in a relationship

I see her from time to time

We don’t have a title

We just hang out sometimes

Why put a label on it?

……….

I’ve heard these phrases way too often in the recent years. It’s normal for many people to describe their situationship using those phrases. The meaning of each phrase is also thoroughly understood, for the most part. Everyone seems to desire a relationship but at the same time they want their way out. They want the benefits of a relationship but none of the commitment. Is the truth in these phrases? They are spoken with casualty but not so much with confidence. When it comes to someone you like, why would you want to describe the relation with such phrases? Wouldn’t we rather say affirmatively,

He loves me. We are together. I like her. That’s my man. This is my girlfriend.

Instead we lay down on our backbone and act like there’s nothing we can do. We’re too cool to want official titles but too scared to expect them. We would rather share our bodies, swap bodily fluids than exchange our feelings and share our true intentions. How sad. We would rather stay in limbo than walk confidently in any direction. We would rather be in a lukewarm semi-non-relationship than a cold hard single. We compromise our hearts to see someone sometimes than never see them at all. Just getting a text back becomes the definition of success.

There’s no judgement coming from me of course. Did you read my post The Purge? Go back and read it. I regrettably had stayed in limbo for way too long. Committing my heart to someone that wouldn’t even commit to a full evening or full day with me. Assigning a place in my heart for someone that once said, “I don’t want a relationship with anyone, not just you.”

Or when I said “You just want me for a hookup.”

“I like you more than a hookup….- but why cant it be like it is?”

I ended up secretly in tears in his bed just a few hours later. That was about five years ago and those words were burned into my heart. I had taken my Question (Warrior and the Beauty, go back and read that one too) to a guy and the answer was a very big NO. NO you’re not worth it. NO you’re not worth my commitment. NO you’re not Enough (fill in the blank) for me to want you. There’s only one thing I want you for.

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That was most definitely not the last time I received the same kind of message from him.

I have no easy step by step solution to these types of problems.

All I came to say was that Jesus made it Official with you 2000 years ago. He is not afraid of commitment. He isn’t waiting for someone better to come around. A wise man wrote a book telling women that a man shows commitment by Professing, Protecting and Providing for a woman. If you are important, a man will give you a title. He will introduce you to others by the title as way to profess who you really are to him. As a way to put other men on notice that he has claimed you. Don’t come over here bruh ’cause this one is mine. Don’t disregard this as a man – woman issue. God is constantly professing who we are to Him.

I found a wonderful list of 20 Things God Says About You. Let us focus on the labels and titles He has given you.

*I am a child of God. John 1:12
We don’t need to call Maury to be given our Father in Heaven’s last name. Adoption papers don’t need to be signed. He never flaked out on child support. He even allowed this model to be lived out by Joseph and Mary’s relationship. Joseph could have denied that Jesus was his son because he had never slept with Mary. He could have told everyone that the child is not his. But that is not how the story goes. We were given the title of God’s child.

*I am a friend with God. John 15:15
Jesus calls us his friends! He doesn’t say “Um, I know of him, but I don’t know him” or “who? I don’t know even know her.” He give us the title of Friend.

*I am an heir with Christ. Romans 8:17
As children of God, we are also heirs to his Kingdom. We will get to live his mansion, and have what He has. He give us the title of Heir.

*I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise. Ephesians 3:6
There’s no good ol’ boys club that we cant get into. No monthly membership fees we cant afford. We were given the title of Member. We belong with Him. We are not on the outside looking in, we are in.

*I am a citizen of Heaven. Philippians 3:20
We are meant to reside in Heaven, our living arrangement on earth is temporary. We didn’t sign a lease, we just live here month to month. We eagerly await our Savior to take us back home. He gave us the title of Citizen.

My point is that God wants us badly. He thinks about us. About YOU. About me. The way I lay awake at night and stare at my ceiling (perhaps thinking of some guy), God is there thinking of You. Just You. He wants to talk to You. He wants You to be the one talking to him. He’s waiting for our text, for our phone call, for a note in the mail. He excited about you. He sees the tiniest changes you’re making and is clapping his hands. He’s in the bleachers at the big game and rooting for you. He’s the coach on the sidelines cheering you on. He’s wanting to move through you so you win. God never hesitated to love you. He’s not with you just until something better comes along. He’s not ignoring your texts. He doesn’t watch your incoming call and just let it go to voicemail. He’s not trying to avoid your social media messages. He’s not hiding you from his timeline. He’s not untagging himself from your posts and pictures. He doesn’t see you in a crowd and hope that you don’t see him. He’s not pretending you don’t exist. He doesn’t just see you when its convenient for him. He calls you Son, Daughter, Friend. He calls you HIS. He makes no mistakes. He intentionally chooses us over and over and over again.

Don’t get caught up in the culture of today. God already professed his titles for you.
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Related Reading:
http://www.bigisthenewsmall.com/2012/06/27/20-things-god-says-about-you/

Related: Doing it Wrong by Drake     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYy0zcs-OSU

“We are half-hearted creatures…”

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Quick Read

Reflection: 28 Days of Single

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I’ll be honest it was challenging to commit to making a post every day. I tried not to judge each post harshly like “that’s boring” or “will people think its lame?” I am just Me. The point wasn’t to impress anyone but to show that being single isn’t what think it is and it is what you think it is. It’s just you, being you each day. Going to work, spending time with friends and family, enjoying many Snickerdoodle lattes – okay that’s just me!

What do you think will change once you are in a relationship? You and you’re boo thang will spend countless hours staring in each other eyes while suns set continuously, and your bills pay themselves? Often times we catch ourselves idolizing relationships or our crushes. Yes, I’m in 7th grade because I have crushes. But who are they besides regular everyday people, just like us? Often times having our eyes set on someone distracts us from our everyday pains of life. Like, my smoke detector that beeps for no reason every so often. Yes I just put in a new battery last month. And no, there’s no fire anywhere! I have been home for hours now, and you start beeping at 11pm, at 4 minute intervals? Are you serious right now? If I had a boyfriend, he would fix it. So I find myself standing on my tallest chair, on my tippy toes, reaching, stretching, using push pins to pin a winter scarf to the ceiling in hopes to muffle the excruciating sound. I just don’t want to deal with this! If I had a husband he would deal with this so I don’t have to.

I really hope I’m not the only who has thoughts like that. I also think a shared income would be awesome. Using all your own money for things just really sucks. Yes, I said that. You can quote me on it too.

Moving on, through the years I realized just how easy it is to get wrapped up in someone else. It’s fun getting messages, texts, phone calls from someone. Someone that looks at you and thinks you’re awesome. Maybe they don’t see what a mess your bedroom is, or the dysfunction in your family, or how you’re late to work every day. They see all the fun things about you and you like that. Often times, we try to minimize those Other things. Actually, your parent pays your phone bill, or you can’t drive because your license was taken away, or that time you really did try to kill yourself. We all have those Other things we don’t want people to know. Idolizing the perfect relationship keeps you from making peace with who you are.

You have to be at peace with who you are. Otherwise, you enter into a relationship in a fearful state. You’re attaching yourself to someone because you are afraid. Afraid to be alone. After all, when will another person come around? We often feel that being single is a reflection of our worth or lack of. If I am single it means no one wanted me. As a woman, no one has asked me to marry them, so I guess no one has ever wanted to marry me. *insert Bridget Jones singing “All By Myself”*

8257468072_4813c4bf0eI work daily to stop negative thoughts, lying thoughts. Someone will like you “just as you are.” You’re going to have to get real comfortable with yourself before you get cozy with someone else. After spending enough time with someone, they will see all those Other things anyway. Instead of feeling comfortable, you’ll feel insecure. I don’t think I need to tell you what happens when Insecurities take over. Instead of building a foundation of trust, you’ll build a mud pie.

jnI truly want someone I can be myself with. If you feel like there are parts of your life you have to hide or parts that aren’t interesting enough, fun enough- then you’re likely going about relationships in the wrong way.

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