Gender Issues, Women

hey Slut: Part 2

m2Ladies, lets get real. Stop over dramatizing everything, its so cliche. I dress modestly and believe me, my shape is not sexless. My curves have curves and there’s no way around it unless I actually wore a bed sheet. I can up my shirt size to XL or wear a 1 in “plus size” and you will most definitely still know that I am WOMAN. Believing that the only way to express yourself is through wearing what you want is again, adolescent in nature. Are you a civilized First World Woman or perpetual rebellious teenager? Are you rebelling against all the daddies of this world while you prance around in your short skirt? Because “when you start acting like an adult, I’ll treat you like one” said every parent ever.

There are women all over the world that could only dream of something as Freedom of Speech, or freedom to peacefully protest. They fear for their lives, literally. In countries like India, where acid is thrown on your face.  Not only to cause physical pain but to mame you for life. No one will want to marry you, your family will reject you, and you just have to try to keep on living. In continents like Africa, where a female infants and female children are victims of female genital mutilation.

Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types.

  • Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).

  • Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are “the lips” that surround the vagina).

  • Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.

  • Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

In other African countries, young female children and teens can be married and become pregnant. Because of their young age and due to lack of prenatal care, major bladder tears/holes can happen during the birthing process. This causes fluid to leak outside of their young bodies uncontrollably. This causes the young girls/women to smell due to constant fluid leaking from their bladder. Because of this, they are deemed useless and disgusting. Their husbands do not want them anymore, their families definitely do not want them anymore. So there are left unable to provide for themselves, or attain resources.

http://www.aidforafrica.org/member-charities/fistula-foundation-the/

In my post the War on Eve, I discuss the enemy’s attack on Eve and her daughters ever since we were in the Garden. With these real women’s issues it is blatant to see. In my modest research, a few issues have surfaced. Some say Feminism is a class problem. I don’t doubt it.

While women struggle daily against systematic and institutionalized, cultural physical torture many of us feel royally offended when a man we don’t even know calls us a slut.

While these women just want to know they are beautiful, many of us call men “thirsty” if they compliment us.

While these women are being demanded of sex, many of us fantasize about a Valentine’s day lover.

While these women watch their daughters suffer the same cruelty, we watch our daughters at dance class in bows and ribbons.

While these women cook scraps in dark kitchens, we make reservations for a Girls Night Out.

While these women have their most sacred parts, which were designed by God, cut and sliced, many say “Its my body I do what I want.”

While these women drink dirty water, many of us have drunken black outs.

While these women just want to be treated with kindness, many of us carry a spirit of arrogance.

trSlut Walks discriminate. Rape does not. Who are victims of rape?  Men, women, girls, boys, babies, elderly adults, married people, single people, those with developmental disabilities. Who are rapists, probably every one of those except babies. What about incest? Sibling molestation? Family friends? Rape is not just man against woman. Women rape also. They are pedophiles also. Rape and molestation can be traced back to the offender’s past. They themselves may have been raped, either through  a grooming process, or violently. Exposing a child to sexual behavior immediately puts them on an entirely different path.  A path of self destruction, self-hate, aggression, depression, attachment issues, drug addiction, violence, and so on. It kills something inside of them. Those that rape have a voice too. The enemy will destroy one heart after another, one soul after another.

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One of my favorite and unpopular scriptures is 1Peter 5:8.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour

There are times when you think there is a great distance between when the Bible was written and now. There were no cell phones, or apps,  Buzzfeed, Peppermint Mocha Lattes etc. But there was alcohol. There have always been people that want to use substances to make them feel different. There has always been behaviors that get in the way of our best selves. This “Be sober, be vigilant” is constantly in my mind. I have been drunk, tipsy, buzzed and whatever else in between. I never liked being drunk. The first party I went to I got drunk after three plastic cups of keg beer, I was only 17. In my drunkenness, I realized three guys staring at me. Watching me. Immediately I knew they were observing me and rating me on my level of vulnerability. I could feel it. I have seen hundreds of men since, in every bar and in every city do it. They are wanting to find the drunkest girl and go off with her to have sex. That is the truth. Are they slime-bags for it? Yes. Do I blame them? No. Our young men are socialized to have sex and to partake in a woman’s body. They are not socialized to mind their boundaries, court a woman, and then marry her. Provide and protect her. We as young women are socialized to have sex and to partake in a man’s body. We are not socialized to mind our boundaries, allow a man to court us, to marry a man. To allow a man to provide and protect us.

And we wonder why everything is so wrong with everything. Or is just me? The world tells us Its not That bad, go ahead, it wont hurt you. Its fun. There comes a day when it all stops being fun. When your tears come with every Adele song, when your heart aches from rejection. This could be your run of the mill one night stand, a breakup, or something worse, a physical and sexual assault-that you may or may not have been aware of due to your physical state of intoxication. My parents never taught me that the world was made up of rainbows and lollipops. They taught me, if someone hits you-hit ’em back. Now, when did we all of a sudden think nothing bad would ever happen to us? Did your parents sit you down one day and tell you that everyone was going to be nice to you? Mine never did. I learned people treat you how you teach them to treat you. I have had to re-teach some.

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. John 15:18
Lets go back to alcohol. Even in my drinking days, I would cut myself off if I did not like my surroundings. If I found myself to be amongst people I did not know or even those I did know, but did not like. I rarely, if ever, “stayed over” a person’s home instead of driving. I kept watch on my friends and did my best to make sure nothing bad happened to them as well. I distinguished between the good-guys and the others. The good-guys were the ones you could trust to not violate you if you were grossly drunk or if you fell asleep. I knew I never wanted to be one of those girls. The ones that get passed around, the one that you can take anywhere and she’ll do anything. There were so many times I thought to myself: Wow, if this guy(s) wanted to rape me, he totally could. I wouldn’t be able to get out of it. How did I survive this era of my life without being assaulted? The only thing that makes sense is God’s mercy.

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Mercy: an event to be grateful for, especially because its occurrence prevents something unpleasant or provides relief from suffering.

Related reading:

http://m.clarionproject.org/news/150-isis-sex-slaves-commit-suicide-some-fed-dogs
“we all live in a world raging with sin, and I’m not immune to its affects.” http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2002/july/i-was-raped.html#bmb=1

“Nothing has made the glories of heaven, a place where God “will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore,” sound so sweet.” http://goodwomenproject.com/rape/god-saw-my-rape-and-he-didnt-stop-it
http://www.gotquestions.org/favor-of-God.html
http://carm.org/where-does-god-ever-show-us-mercy
http://rightwingnews.com/crime/the-problem-with-the-slut-walk/
http://indianmuslimpost.blogspot.com/2013/08/slut-walk-mocks-indian-women-real-issues.html
http://www.girlsgonewise.com/five-problems-i-have-with-slutwalk-marches/
http://www.yasminnair.net/content/slutwalk-end-feminism
http://www.aidemocracy.org/students/the-issues-with-slutwalk/

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History

God Made Girls

The CMAS (Country Music Awards) aired the other night and I was excited. I say today without embarrassment that I have a crush on the South and all that comes with it. I’m a devoted fan of the shows Nashville and Hart of Dixie. Darn you Netflix! And yes, country music. I recently was in Louisville (pronounced LooEL-Ville), Kentucky and was shamefully disappointed to not hear much of that Southern-drawl that I was expecting. I’m intrigued of Southern Belles and Cotillions. The rugged exterior of a hard working down to earth Country Man. From the outside, I see some values that could bring me joy. The South may get scoffed at for being down-home-back-woods-Confederate flag waving-Bible Belt wearing-losers of the Civil War by some but not me. I see a rich History, Tradition and Values. Something I have been wanting and didn’t even know it.

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BTW I love music and will reference it throughout my posts. “God Made Girls” is a song on the radio right now and its making a lot of noise. I love it. This song puts a smile on my face and I can’t help but sing along. Had I heard this about 10 years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and given you a blank stare. *blink*blink. I would have corrected you on your use of the word “girl.” What am I 12? Puh-leaze I’m 20! I am a Woman, get it right.

Somebody’s gotta wear a pretty skirt: Excuse me? Why do *I* have to wear a skirt? Because I’m female, I should wear a skirt to get a man’s attention? I’m just here to look good for a man?
Somebody’s gotta wanna hold his hand: Why do I have to hold his hand? Im….wait for it…..INDEPENDENT. I don’t need a man. I don’t need to hold a man’s hand. Anything I want, I can get it myself. I can do it myself.
Somebody’s gotta be the one to cry—Somebody’s gotta let him drive: Oh because I’m female, cry? Because I’m female, I can’t handle my emotions and cry about everything? And ‘gotta let him drive’? So he’s gotta be in control? He just ‘drives’ wherever and I have no say so?

Was this anyone’s inner dialogue while reading these lyrics or listening to the song?
Let’s explore some definitions.

Femininity: the Quality or Nature of the female sex; womanhood; womanliness; pertaining to a woman or girl; Qualities traditionally ascribed to women (sensitivity or gentleness)
Feminism: belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities; the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

These are clearly very different definitions. Which do you prefer? Which sounds better to you? I’m sure you will choose the definition describing feminism and I know why. If you were born within the last 50- 60 years, your socialization since birth has been shaped by feminism. Perhaps, as an infant or toddler, your mother read “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan. Maybe you grew up hearing about “the pill.” It was illegal even for a married woman to have until 1965 (Griswold v. Connecticut). Seven years later in 1972 in Eisenstad v. Baird, the Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to prohibit the sale of oral contraceptives to unmarried women. The infamous Roe v. Wade case of 1973 declared it was unconstitutional for states to ban abortion within the first trimester. If you were born in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s then Feminism is the culture. We are groomed to accept Feminism. If we do not support it we are given the same look as your office bigot. Its so politically correct to shout “Equality!” But many of you don’t even know that we are Equal, in the eyes of God. By believing you are not equal, you are subscribing to an agenda which seeks to demean you. Early Feminism meant, I have the Right to NOT be objectified. Now: I have the right to objectify myself because its my CHOICE. Do you see it may be the same words but put them in a different order and it changes our world.

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The First Wave of the Women’s Movement got us the right to vote in 1919. Our ForeMothers, knew they had a lot to offer the society in which they lived. They wanted a voice. A voice to build up a community, not to tear it down. A voice to be taken seriously within their own marriages. Not tear apart their own marriages. A voice to say I should be able to take up hobbies, interests, employment if I choose or if necessary. I can be trusted with responsibilities outside of the home. I respect myself, my family, my community and I asked the same respect from my country.

I look around and listen these days. The women that lived and died never seeing any results, would they be proud of us? Would they look at us in delight with what we have accomplished? We turn our backs on Femininity on our Womanhood. We have become aggressive and critical in our speech. We have become more violent as a demographic. We reject the level on relationship that God gifted us with. We long for a permanent connection yet reject marriage and use men for sex. We, in our own immaturity, have taken on all the traits of men that we deem abusive and undesirable. We model our behavior after men (whom are not perfect). Whom we reject, whom we say we don’t need, whom we call good-for-nothin, lame af and so many other awful labels. We get angry when they don’t stick around. When they “love us” and leave us within the late night hour. When we lay down with them and have their babies, and they still leave. We hate them, yet push and pull, cry and scream, plot and plan for them. This is a result of Feminism. Feminism grooms you from birth like a pedophile grooms a child. It makes you think it is something you want, something that will give you something you don’t already have. God’s Word has taught me the Truth.

Here is who God says I am:
She is worth far more than rubies.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:10-31

What about these qualities should I reject? I am worth more than any jewels on earth! I bring the men in my life and my community GOOD. My arms are STRONG for my tasks. I open my arms to the poor and needy. My clothing doesn’t have to be name brand because my clothing is STRENGTH and DIGNITY. I speak wisdom and life into others. What is wrong with this? God gave me gifts, talents, and traits that are of QUALITY and are my NATURE.

We ask men to get in “touch with their feminine side” to exercise sensitivity and gentleness towards us. Yet, we reject those traits in ourselves. To be sensitive and gentle equates weakness. We puff up our chests, and put on a masculine front. I’ve heard women say they have bigger balls than a man, or “suck my d***” or “my d*** is bigger than yours.” They may say these insults just as a manner of speaking but where does this need to posture and be aggressive towards a man come from? When you say these things, you are denying your strength as a woman, you are saying that you do not possess strength. You do not need to perform male adolescent antics and exhibit a skewed concept of masculinity to be validated.

The Kingdom is ours, when we accept Jesus into our hearts and lives. When we submit to Him and all His ways. You don’t need to fight a fight that’s already been won. We are equal. We are feminine and that is not an undesirable identity. It is not the lowest of the low, but is of the Highest. We fuel the War on Eve when we reject our inner workings. What message are we sending to our girls? That because you are a girl you must act like a boy to have worth but deny their hurts when they bury their femininity at the expense of the Feminist agenda that was meant to make them equal so they could be happy? If that was confusing, it is because it is CONFUSING. I prefer to function on logic and when things do not make sense I cannot stand behind them. I cannot vouch for Feminism anymore.

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Related Music: God Made Girls by RaeLynn, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl1uv6gB4hE

http://en.gravatar.com/that1liana

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