I’m Breaking Up with You

This is a break up letter to everyone that once was.

I have to let you go now for not being a better man. Maybe I did ask, maybe I knew it was pointless so I never thought I should.

I have to let the me go that wanted you so badly. Maybe it could have worked better, maybe I just had poor judgment.

I have to let you go now. Time doesn’t heal much because brains record memories. Bodies record emotions. The presence of feelings does not constitute reality.

I have to let the me go that tried so hard and thought loyalty led to love.

I have to let you go now. The thing you did or didn’t do that led me to assume you didn’t care. Maybe you did, maybe you weren’t capable. Your intentions were not my responsibility.

I have to let the me go that thought I knew everything. I didn’t know you. I didn’t know me.

I brought empty cups to you demanding that you fill them and overflow them. That’s not your place.

I have to let you go now. For using me at your convenience and allowing myself to be used at someone else’s convenience.

I have to let the me go that felt suffering in silence was better than speaking up. Being low maintenance and without need would lead to someone intuitively being aware of the needs I didn’t have and fulfill them all.

I have to let you go now. Its easy to recall smiles and imagine an alternate storyline. Hearing a song and associating with you. Association doesn’t constitute God’s plans.

I have to let the me go that continues to revert to old roles. I have to take up space and not be a bystander in my own life. I can’t watch my life through a window.

I’m breaking up with you… and me, all that once was.

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